1. Putting your foot into a hole when stopping.
2. Putting your foot down on something slippery when stopping (gravel, dog shit etc).
3. Locking the front wheel during overenthusiastic braking.
4. Missing the driveway and sliding on the grass.
5. Not putting the kickstand down when getting off.
6. Make a turn from stop in gravel or sand at high throttle.
7. Not putting a board under the kickstand on asphalt on a hot day.
8. Letting overenthusiastic people sit on your bike who have never been on a bike.
9. Forgetting the bike's in gear when you jump on the kickstarter.
10. Revving the engine, releasing clutch, and putting feet on pegs when the light turns green, but the bike's in neutral.
11. Not putting your foot down when stopping on red light.
12. Losing balance when putting it on the centerstand.
13. Take an hour ride in 30 degree weather with no gloves, stop at a stop sign and pop the clutch when you start cause you've lost feeling in your hands.
14. Putting your foot down at a toll booth on the thick layer of grease that builds up when cars stop.
15. Using too much power when you pull out of a greasy toll booth.
16. Ignoring the sand that builds up in the spring at the side of the road in places that sand and salt roads in winter.
17. Kicking your kickstand in a cool fashion and having it bounce back up instead of staying down.
18. Getting off your bike while it is running and forgetting that is in gear.
19. Trying to kickstart your first bike over and over 'cause you didn't realize that it was really out of fuel, and getting the goofy metal ring on the side of your boot caught in the kickstarter, causing you (and the bike) to go over on the right side.
20. Starting your electric-start bike, popping the clutch to do an "experienced start, kick back the kickstand and twist the throttle" vigoursly (all three at once) to impress the 50 bikes around you at the local hangout, and then discovering that you hadn't unlocked the steering-lock...
21. On your trails bike, getting the dual-range lever caught inside your jeans as you come to a stop...
22. Having your boot/jeans catch the gear-lever and putting your running bike into first gear whilst reaching for the side-stand (which is why I now automatically pull in the clutch whenever employing or retracting the stand).
23. Having "green" racing linings which have much higher coefficient of friction on the slight rust that forms on the polished drum when you've not ridden for a few hours, and lose the front-end holding the brakes on against the throttle to wear off the rust, with your brother on the back...
24. Having a three-cylinder two-stroke that's so smooth you think you're in second when you're actually in first, so you spin out when the undercarriage touches down in a tight corner passing a car and you think, "just a bit more throttle will help here..."
25. Revving bike in impressive squidly fashion at red light, thinking it's in neutral; dropping clutch and standing in place while bike wheelies and backflips into intersection.
26. Having your fat-ass brother (as a pillion) lean waaay over to the side to look at something on the ground while at a stop sign.
27. Wife gets foot caught in saddlebag while getting on before you.
28. Rebuild carbs and treat bike like it still needs full gas away from a stop.
29. Add bald tires, and a smattering of rain to 28.
30. Look at the sand at the edge of the exit ramp rather than through the turn.
31. Neither you nor your dad watching while he's backing his car up to the woodpile to unload wood.
32. Not putting the pin that holds the center stand all the way in and then trying to put the bike on the center stand.
33. Trying to hold the bike upright before deploying the center stand only to find your knees are too weak from riding.
34. Park behind friend's mom's minivan figuring "If anybody goes anywhere, they'll surely see it. 'specially since there'll be 5 of them getting into the van. Why can't at LEAST ONE OF THEM LOOK AND SEE THE MOTORCYCLE SO PLAINLY IN VIEW BEHIND THEM?" "Damn."
35. After getting fuel at gas station and holding the bike level with your legs in order to fill it completely, jumping off forgetting that your legs were holding it upright not the kickstand.
36. Entering a DR ("decreasing radius") turn at too high of a speed... This is especially dangerous when making a right turn where if you attempt to straighten up and brake, you'll plow into oncoming traffic...
37. Trying to countersteer (or wheelie) your shaft driven bike? ;-}
38. Getting your boot/ shoelace caught on the gearshift. (I wear laceless boots now).
39. Attempting to kick start a cantankerous '84 CR500, whilst standing on a picnic table bench, and she *kicks* back!
40. Getting pissed off for dropping it in the first place, yanking it vigorously off the ground, only to have it dropped on the other side.
41. Pulling out the swingarm stand, and forgetting to put the sidestand down first.
42. Backing down an inclined driveway, turning to either side with a full tank of gas.
43. Taking the bike off the centerstand and forgetting the sidestand.
44. Riding on wet grass with street tires (Almost as bad as ice!!)
45. Riding on wet asphalt with dirt tires (Almost as bad as ice!!)
46. *Thinking* the kick stand was down when it wasn't
47. Kick stand slowly burying itself in hot asphalt
48. Kick stand slowly burying itself in soft ground
49. Backing up perpendicular to a steeply sloped driveway and attempting to put your foot down on the downhill side while on a large bike with a high seat. (By the time your foot reaches the ground the bike is so far off center balance you won't be able to hold it up.)
50. Backing your bike down a plank, by yourself, from the bed of a pickup truck. Works great as long as you remember that once you start moving stopping for any correction is out of the question. Get two people to stand on each side of you and the bike.
51. Losing your balance when coming to a stop because of fatigue from a long trip. The wind and the buzz of the bike induces an unexpected case of vertigo. Stop often and rest.
52. Riding beyond your limits while trying to keep up with someone who is probably riding beyond their own. Always a temptation. The best riders/racers understand and use discipline when riding.
53. Not paying attention. Always strive to anticipate what could possibly go wrong and be planning what your going to do when it happens, eventually it will - and you'll be ready, instead of surprised when your much more likely to do something stupid and reactionary.
54. Assuming that all wet roads are created equal. They are much more slippery when it first starts to rain - until the oil and dirt are washed away.
55. Assuming that the condition of a blind corner is the same as it was the last time you rode it. Instead you find sticks, road kill, oil, rain wash, stones, pot holes, garbage etc. etc.
56. Not understanding how to get set-up for a corner when pushing the limits. In most cases the bike could have made the corner but the rider decided it couldn't and while in a panic attempted to correct the situation with the brake. WRONG! MSF course will discuss this at length.
57. Riding without all of the protective equipment because I forgot to bring it and after all it was just this one time. Turned out to be the wrong time! I forgot my MX boots and fell on a steeply banked corner and the foot peg attempted to drill into the back of my right calf. On crutches for 3 weeks with a deep bruise.
58. Using a little too much power turning the first corner after you've put on new tyres (with that nice slippery release compound on them).
59. Being to short for the bike you are riding, and coming to a stop sign.
60. Your rider hops on before you are ready.
61. Pushing your bike into the garage and letting it get leaned just a little away from you, pulling you on top of it to the ground.
63. Pulling off both fork caps while the bike is on its centerstand.
64. Park pointing downhill, don't leave it in gear.
65. Park with sidestand facing up hill, sidestand is too long (Yamaha Radian 600)
66. Allow friend to ride bike that has either no riding experience, or only tiny dirtbike riding experience (they will wheelie out of control, fly straight at the nearest object, or drop it attempting to stop suddenly-happened to my bike twice)
67. Pulling into Dairy Queen and slipping on a spilt chocolate malt.
68. Sitting on your bike on an inclined driveway talking to a very pretty girl, forgetting where in the hell your mind is and then noticing that it's already too close to the ground to stop.
69. Change rear-end oil on a shaft drive bike, spill 90w on tire, don't clean it up and then make a really sharp turn out of the driveway. *Splat*
70. Parking your bike so that it stands upright w/the kick stand down and then having a slow leak in the rear tire which causes the kick stand to push the bike over (long story).
71. Running into a bus after a 120mph+ high speed chase where there is helicopter pursuit and you are being taped by 5 local news stations.
72. Spending 3 hours washing and waxing your bike and then stepping back to admire it with some buddies and then watch it fall right off its side stand while it was warming up.
73. Pushing it over.
74. Covering it with a windsail (aka canvas cover) and letting the wind push it over.
75. Unbolting too many components from the back so that the bike falls off the jack.
76. Having an internally rusted CX500 centre stand come apart whilst putting the bike onto it.
77. Discovering when you stop and try to put your foot down that the kickstart lever is up your pantleg.
78. Letting your wife drive the bike and having her stall it on an inclined driveway while in a 45 degree angle to the incline.
79. Entering a banked freeway onramp with a stoplight at the end, and realizing a little too late that the downside is just a little steeper than you thought.
80. Whacking the throttle open on the highway when you think there's no cop around then slowing to normal speed again only to realize that a trooper has been trying to catch up with you for two miles and he's pissed so he decides to run you off the road because he thinks you were trying to run away from him, even though you explain to him that if you were trying to run that he wouldn't have caught you then getting out of any tickets because the *@!!$#, uh I mean cop, felt bad even though he never said "I'm sorry" . . . .but I'm not bitter".
81. While pushing your bike in an attempt to start it by compression, jumping on side-saddle with excessive vigor.
82. Successfully compression starting your bike while running alongside, only to find out that you'd held a BIT too much throttle!
83. Deploying the centre-stand without noticing that the ground falls away on the other side.
84. Taking the wife on a ride on your brand new, first bike in 20+ years and making a slow, tight, turn on gravel. . . .
85. Riding in stilettos and getting stuck on the footrest
86. Swinging your legs too enthusiastically over the bike with tight trousers on and kicking it over
87. Dismounting while trying not to wet yourself (cold weather..tuh!)
88. Riding short distances side-saddle fashion
89. Pulling off with a blood alcohol level exceeding the stated limit...
90. Reaching down to pick up your gloves/keys/glasses.
91. Paying too much attention to the tiltometer on your valkarie
92. Dropping your dirtbike on the side of a steep hill covered in pine humus, then while getting it righted go over the down side because it's too far of an angle to get a foot down.
93. Trying to ride away on the side of a steep hill covered in pine humus which is slipperier than sand.
94. Bopping down the freshly-oiled farm lane to see the neighbor kid with my brother on the back, cautiously toeing the rear brake, feeling the rear wheel slide as we headed straight for the barn, grabbing a panicky handful of front brake, doing a slow highside despite dabbing mightily, sliding right up to the barn door prone on the well-oiled bike with my brother on top of the pile, and hearing the neighbor say "Didn't that thing used to be orange?"
95. Kill the bike while leaned over trying to make a slow, sharp turn in a parking lot
96. Forgetting to remove the disc lock and taking off from the curb with haste.... Tends to break front caliper too.
97. Falling asleep.
98. Getting help from a neighbor in pushing your 750 up a steep ramp into a moving truck. Though he might assure you that he used to ride a motorcycle, it turns out it was a 125 in Bombay. He gets 2/3 of the way up the ramp, looks panicked, and his knees buckle. Crunch.
99. Looking at the pretty curb to your left on a right-hand bank.
100. Trying to get a wasp out of your jacket while sitting on the bike, got stung twice before the bike fell.
No comments:
Post a Comment